a folder of drafts


2005-2-26

After my last surge here, I have been a little quiet. I do have a folder full of drafts, things I would like to write about but haven't found time and words.

It is currently one of the more difficult times for me. It's a matter of fear and motivation mostly. I know I am on the brink of something new and possibly very big. My feeling of angst only refects that. Some of these days I would not advise anybody to get near to me, that's how torn and self-loathing I am. And in those situations it really doesn't help very much to know that it's the perfectly normal and to-br-expeeted thing - kind of like the quiet before the storm.

Being chained to my home alone with two kids to care for while my lovely wife is out in the world learing fascinating new stuff doesn't really help either.

Nevertheless, I'm still around and actually looking forward to a very bright future. As so often in my life I have more ideas I could use in a lifetime, and can't even find the power to start with any one of them. That's the one thing I really want to get rid of. The 'I ot so much I'd like to do, I don't know where to start' syndrome. Just take one thing, and do it.

This a very good place to post this Mantra I found on kryogenix:

"[T]his cycle has happened to me several times. I have an idea, but either somebody points out a flaw or I find one myself. I put the idea on a shelf, and a little while later it pops up, often with the same flaw. Lots of people use it, and then the flaw gets fixed…My plan for this year is to pick a few ideas and push through them, even if they have some problems. I will cross bridges when I come to them. I will go boldly. I will listen to mp3s on my computer and remember that a solution with some problems is better than no solution at all."

That sounds like a very reasonable stance to work from!

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