my work/life situation


I hinted at that in that last post. My life/work situation is somewhat special currently. I might use this space here to explain that further.

But first a wonderfull quote from Hugh McLeod, whom I find myself quoting constantly today:

"[A] lot of people who understand the future are the first to lose their jobs. It's the way of the world; it helps the dinosaurs stay on the heart-and-lung machine a few hours longer."

Well, me, I didn't lose my job, rather I left before that would have happened. I worked on for the very same company for about a quarter of a year after leaving. And I actually declined some offers of projects from that client recently. I wanted out and out for a reason. I've had the feeling they simply didn't 'get it' and I'm very much not alone with that.

And, most of all, I lost faith in working as an employee. The company I worked for - like any other today - had very little interest in my gain from what I did. My name is on nothing I did in that time. I felt very replaceable, although they never found anybody who could. I made sure of that by being good, inovative and very efficient. Normally coming in way under budget and all. But that never worked for my benefit as long as I was 'under the hood'. There was no awareness of my skill and quality outside a very close circle. And those who were aware have mostly moved on to other jobs, with little chance of them taking me into account when it comes to jobs.

So that was the thing I set out to change. I want to be able to see what I do not only as a way to pay the bills, but also as an investment into my future.

Actually I haven't left the life of an employee only to be able to earn more - there is a certain difference between my work as an employee is calculated as and the amount that comes out at my side - but I also want my work to 'stick'. I want what I do to reflect back on me. I want my knoledge to be my asset, my value, not that of a corporation that frankly gives a damn about me. To them I am replacable - in concept if not in practice.

Currently I'm in the lucky situation that I have a family who are willing to support my transition into something new. Although I am highly in dept and banks wouldn't throw me even a gnawed bone, I can still invest time and a little money in building up something new, something lasting, something worthwhile.

And that I will do.


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Martin Spernau
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