coming out of burnout


In an attempt to finally scare off all my regular readers, here some more weird stuff from my journey through life.

All the soul searching and Genius talk has had some quite profound effects of late.

I was in a bad state of burnout these last years, occasionally broken by bursts of creativity. But somehow always falling back into the "why bother / who cares" rote of thinking all too easily.

I still haven't shaken that one completly. But I am seeing progress. One of the main symtoms of my burnout was a strange lack of emotional energy. I still cared for all those things important to me. I still felt exitement with new tech and such. But I never seemed to get exited enough to actually DO things. I had all these cool ideas and dreams of things I might do. But when it came to doing things... I felt empty and drained.

Today while re connecting with my current project and updating my SVN rep... I put on headphones and played some of my favorites. And I got so totally pulled away into the sound of these tracks... I would stop all I was doing, close my eyes and just listen. Just FEEl the music. I haven't been pulled in by music for a long time. Not to a degree where it was pure emotion and dance.

I'm glad that seems to be coming back.


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Martin Spernau
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