being productive for a change


2005-3-20

As some of you might have read between the lines recently, I was in some kind of block these last few months. I have tons of good ideas, most of which I can even get really passionate about. But for some reason I couldn't get myself to simply sit down and do things.

I see several reasons for this, the main one seems to be: "I can't waste time on X before I haven't provided for my income first"

In a way that is 'Yak shaving' - "I need to do X before I do Y. And before I can do X I need to..." in and almost endless loop.

But the feeling of 'not being allowed to play before I have not worked' has been a profound block to me recently. Which is actually enormously stupid and inhibiting. Of course those 'little projects' don't pay the rent right now. But not doing them - and thereby not doing anything - is even more stupid. And only through those 'small things' do I have any kind of chance to 'get in touch with change'. Only if you get moving can you reach new shores. Spending weeks and months pooring of the right action to take, the right way to go, is no good if it is not coupled with movement - any kind of movement...

So now I can happily report I seem to have cracked this block to a degree. I have wasted so much time recently actually doing things that it looks like I might really get somewhere soon.

And one thing I find endlessly fascinating is the power of illness as a turning point. All this frustration and procrastination peaked into me falling seriously ill with a bad cold. But somehow now - still feeling only slightly better - I am suddently 'over the top'. Maybe the stop-energy of the illness was needed to push me into action. So being fed up with the 'Ican't do this and that' way of my thinking that I just sat down and DID.

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