to whinge, or to observe small anoyances
Know thyself - is a key message and skill on living a better personal life. Some time ago I started to pay far more attention to what Arnold Mindell calls 'flirts' abd 'bleeps' (Dreaming While Awake)... small notions and yet-unformed moods. The idea is that you recognize a mood change before it adversly affects you and your surrounding, by observinge the small things. To do so obviously also brings an awareness of small anoyances, and with it the urge to communicate them. Here's where things get tricky: not many people are prepared or expect you to openly state and want to discuss things like "The noise in this room makes listening to you hard" or "I feel stressed by talking about this topic over the phone."
It seems that a more common understanding would be that you just like to whinge about anything and all :) When really your intention is to make aware - so that everyone can cooperate to avoid anoyances. Maybe it's because people tend to take things like this personal. "The noise here makes it hard to listen to you" becomes: "You are hard to listen to."
There are several things here that can be done to improve the situation:
- communicate these observations from a clear "this is my issue" POV
- limit communicating these observations, and maximize your own actions upon the observations (reduce distraction)
- communicate action proposals instead of plain observation: "Let's see if we can reduce noise so I can better hear you."
- when do you want something the most?
- is talking good when it's all you can do?
- little things we like but don't need
- Not working for money
alles Bild, Text und Tonmaterial ist © Martin Spernau, Verwendung und Reproduktion erfordert die Zustimmung des Authors