emotion vs will


2004-8-14

In a book I just read by Stuart Wilde he talks about why one needs to decouple emotion from will to achieve things.

He says that it is important to really want, but to not overload that want with emotion. This was - and still is - a concept that I have difficulties understanding conceptually. I do not have a problem accepting the truth of that 'from my heart' as I have made very much exactly that experience in my life. But as a concept (mind) it is difficult. Is not 'want' or 'desire' an emotion in itself?

Early in my teens I discovered I could get almost anything I wanted. I'd only need to really want it. Not only with my head, but with my whole self. And I needed to be able to believe it to be possible.

Funnily this didn't in the least work where I would have wished it the most. I was never able to 'get' a girl I wanted...

Now this suddenly makes sense. In the case of 'wanting that girl' there was an enormous amount of emotion involved. Actually it was almost entierly emotion (being in love is emotion if nothing else).

Now I'm not sure what this teaches me about 'getting girls', and if I still care ;)

I am long since happily married. Oh, but maybe that marriage actually is a perfect example of this at work also...

but that's another story for another time...

Update: it is now some days after I originally started writing down my thoughts about this.

I have since finished reading that book, and went on. I'm still not sure if I am happy with that conceptual division of will/emotion. One thing is sure: we usually invest an lot of negative emotion into our wants. Those are a real burden alright. But investing positive emotion into a plan can be very valuable.

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